Worship Wednesday – Jesus, I Come

Since I’ve had my daughter, I’ve been dealing with new kinds of anxiety that I’m not used to. Well, I’ve dealt with it before, but the feaWorship Wednesdayrs are more intense because they involve my baby girl. For those of you with children, I’m sure you can relate.

Night is the worst. The moment the sun begins to sink in the sky, my anxiety levels begin to grow. I can usually push them off though…until it’s time to put my daughter to bed. We have a routine that our little family has grown into. It’s a sweet routine, really. My husband carries the baby to the changing table, where he sings the ABCs to her while one of us changes her diaper. Sometimes there’s a bath involved, and sometimes not. Then we have lotion, PJs, and a rapid cleaning of the nursery. We put her wearable blanket on, then my husband hold her while I run around getting my glass of water (and possibly snacks) so that I’m all set.

Then I rock her to sleep. For an hour and a half or longer, until she goes to sleep.

Don’t get me wrong. I love this time with my daughter. She’s so beautiful it’s heartbreaking. Rocking her and looking down at her perfect little face gives me more joy than I knew there was in the world. But giving me an hour and a half of time alone to think in the dark is not a good thing by any stretch.

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Jelly Bean’s first trip to the beach in SoCal. I can’t tell you how excited I am to get to show her the world.

When I was little, I imagined all the terrible things that could happen to my family while we were asleep. Electrical fires in the walls, burglars in the night, food poisoning, choking, aliens, gas, you name it, I thought it. And it wasn’t like I just thought it up. I would often become convinced that these things were going to happen to my family, and I would wake up after everyone else had died. It was very real to me. I was sure at least one of these awful things was going to happen. It’s a trait of OCD that can be a real torment to individuals who struggle with the disorder.

Now, as my daughter falls asleep on my lap, I have the grown-up version of these fears. What if she stops breathing? What if she’s kidnapped? What if someone shoots her, or hurts her in another way? The images come, and it’s hard to fight them off. All these images of these horrible things happening to my baby girl, and I have all the time in the world, it seems, to have to keep fighting them off. It makes me feel so helpless. I know these things aren’t statistically likely to happen, but they feel so real. It was particularly bad when she was under two months. I felt like something was sure to happen to her.

I chose this song, “Jesus, I Come,” because this song is a blessing to my soul. Coming into the presence of Jesus is like a balm to my soul. I feel like when I come to Him, the Author of the universe, the almighty God, I can bear my worries to him. I can bear my brokenness. My imperfections, my doubts, and the terrifying fears that shake me to my very core are the burdens I can cast upon Him. When I come to Him, I’m reminded that all will be made well in Him. I can hand him these fears and doubts, and all I will receive is the gentle love of the God of the universe. I remember not who the world sees me as, but who the Lord sees me as, and how He already has my daughter’s life-and mine-in His hands.

 

Jesus, I Come

Indelible Grace (The Shelly Moore Band version is awesome, too!)

1. Out of my bondage, sorrow and night,
Jesus, I come; Jesus I come.
Into Thy freedom, gladness and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of my sickness into Thy health,
Out of my wanting and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

2. Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come; Jesus, I come.
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of earth’s sorrows into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress into jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

3. Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come; Jesus, I come.
Into Thy blessed will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair into raptures above,
Upward forever on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

4. Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come; Jesus, I come.
Into the joy and light of Thy home,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

© 2000 Greg Thompson Music.

When I sing this song, I often feel like I’m climbing out of a dark cavern of my fears and my doubts. I’m reminded of the light of my Lord. Does singing this song work like a magical chant that automatically makes everything go away? No, but it works its way into my heart, reawakening the joy and trust in Christ that the Holy Spirit has planted within my soul. I hope you can find encouragement in this song as well. For in the end, all will be well. For eternity we will behold God’s glorious face, and all the pains of this world will be wiped away by the joy and healing Heaven will bring. And never will another tear be shed. Never again will I fear.

If you have a question or comment about today’s post, or would like to know more about a relationship with Christ, please share in the Comment Box below (or email me). I love to hear what others have to say! Also, if you’re interested in getting more information on neurological disorders, education, and encouragement, sign up for my weekly newsletters. As always, thanks for reading!

Psalm 28-6

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