Worship Wednesday – Just a Girl

 WWChristmas

I nearly started to cry. There I was in the nicest airplane I’d ever flown in for a trip that was meant for nothing but fun. My mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and I were going to New York with plane tickets that were a gift from a cousin to spend a weekend exploring the Big Apple and her little town in New England. My husband had encouraged me to go.

“Have fun,” he pressed. “You’ve never seen New York, and you don’t have to worry about being away from me since I’ll be in training.” And I was excited. Really. But when the plane took off, I could feel the panic attack starting, and my urge to tic jumped sky high. I tried to hold off, but soon gave up the fight and pulled out my teddy bear. Holding him kept my hands from ticcing and my trembling body at bay. But only just.

And I felt so ashamed.

I was twenty-three, married, had a college education, and I was clutching my teddy bear to my chest like my life depended on it. What will the stewardess think? What will the others think? A mean voice in my head demanded to know. I could only hug my bear tighter, knowing if I let go, the anxiety would overtake me like a bloodhound. I would tic uncontrollably. The teddy bear was a better alternative, but still….

I felt like a fool.

I think those of us with disabilities find ourselves in these positions more than we would like. We can’t help but compare ourselves to the everyone else.

My tics look strange.

I can’t stop shaking.

I’m having a panic attack for no reason.

I can’t sit still.

It wasn’t until I heard a song last night, however, that the truth suddenly rang, clear as a bell, and it all came from a verse I memorized long ago.

“But God chose what the world thinks foolish to shame the wise, and God chose what the world thinks weak to shame the strong.  God chose what is low and despised in the world, what is regarded as nothing, to set aside what is regarded as something,…” – 1 Corinthians 1:27-28

If God uses those the world considers foolish, and if God uses the weak, then perhaps I shouldn’t fight my differences so much. Perhaps God has bigger plans for me than what the world sees. Keep that in mind as you listen to this next song about the Christmas Story.

Just a Girl

by Brandon Heath

I wonder if you heard the story
Of little fame and lesser glory
The night to keep her on me
The little town of Bethlehem
Counting Joseph, fearless Mary
About to birth the savior of the world

His wife said, “go and see who’s knocking”
He ran out to the gate, unlocked it
The moment he heard Mary’s cry
Couldn’t look the in the eye
Denied the men with …when his wife asked who was there
He said, “I don’t know, just a girl
Just a couple of gypsies begging at the door
I told them we don’t have room for any more
And closed the door. It was just a girl”

He tried to sleep, he wasn’t able
He snuck out to the dirty stable
Where the two would find the covering
Later in her suffering …and pray, “what have I done?”
It’s just a bed, just a minute so they’re trembling in the hay
I could’ve found a room for them to stay, I’m so ashamed

It’s just a bed

There is no room, there was no crowd
The shepherd stood on royal ground
The keeper wept for what he done
He turned away God’s own son

Just a kid, just a million angels crowding there to see
Jesus there for all humanity
Just a bed, just a minute so they trembling in the hay
Staring at his mother in the face
She’s just a girl, just a girl
Does she even know that she just changed the world?
Does she even know that He will save the world?
Does Mary know that He will save the world?
She’s just a girl, just a girl, just a girl, just a girl

Conclusion

It’s mindblowing that God, the holy, all-powerful, all-knowing, God of creation, justice, and perfection would send down His Son, Jesus Christ, in our place. By all earthly standards, Jesus should have come down, escorted by angels, robed in gold, and been given the throne room of Solomon.

But instead, he was born as a helpless baby. He was born to a peasant girl, and a Hebrew one at that, the kind of person whose only reason for existance seemed to be getting married and having children. He was born in a feeding trough in a stinking, filthy cave. Instead of family crowding around the nursery window, the onlookers who greeted him were shepards, considered theives and outcasts who possibly only outranked Mary.

And all these things that the world looked down upon, God used to carry out the most beautiful, sacrificial love story in all of creation. She was just a girl. They were just shepherds. Joseph was just a carpenter. It was just a stable.

And God used them to save the world.

Which means if God can use all of them, He can use me, just the shaking young woman in the corner with a teddy bear, to do amazing things as well. If God uses the foolish for these things, then I’m more than willing to be considered a fool for Him.

Have the expectations of the world made you feel like this? Please share in the Comment Box below. Don’t forget, if you sign up for my email list, you’ll get extra resources I don’t include in my posts, as well as a gift to say thank you for signing up. Thanks for reading!

1stCorinthians1-27

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4 comments

  • Michael Groves on December 11, 2013 at 11:16 pm said:

    Hi Brittany
    It is lovely to meet a fellow Christian who struggles with anxiety. I have had a panic disorder for most of my life and I can truly say that without my faith then I would have giving up years ago. My saviour Jesus has delivered me on so many occasions that I am unable to count them. I can honestly say that because of my anxiety I am a more compassionate human being so while I hate my anxiety it has also made me stronger and enabled me to cling to Jesus.
    “He that is in me is greater than he that is in this world”
    I live everyday trying to encourage others, to hold their hand, to let them know I care, to listen to them, to pray for them and most of all to share my lord with them so they too might know the riches of his mercy. I have learned to put myself last and other who’s pain is grate first, this takes practice. I enclosed my favourite scripture for when I’m at my weakest I hope you like it and find it as encouraging as I do. Best wishes to you and your husband.
    Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    • brittanyfichterwrites@gmail.com on December 12, 2013 at 10:20 pm said:

      I completely agree. Christ is my stronghold, and the only reason I can have peace even when I’m afraid. And thank you so much for sharing the verse! God truly never fails when we cry out to Him. Haha, I’ll admit I can sometimes be a brat when the answer is no, but in retrospect, His answer is always right. I’ll be including a story about the time God most obviously answered my prayer for help during a panic attack at the end of the memoir I’m writing. Out of curiosity, how old were you when you were diagnosed?

  • Angel The Alien on December 12, 2013 at 12:09 am said:

    I have a teddybear too. He definitely comes with me when I travel, and I definitely take him out and hold him for comfort. If other people think that is weird… oh well! I’d rather be the weirdo with the teddy bear than the anxious and upset weirdo WITHOUT a teddy bear!

    • brittanyfichterwrites@gmail.com on December 12, 2013 at 10:17 pm said:

      What’s your teddy bear’s name? Mine’s Stephenbear. Before my husband left for basic training, (We were dating at the time.) I demanded he buy me a teddy bear for my birthday so I’d have something to hug while he was gone. And YES, that’s the whole point!

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